garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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