I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My cat gives me a boner
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
