At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
