So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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