Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize