No, you can still breathe under the balls.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
