the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
