I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
