I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
