ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
