someone get that fucking seahorse.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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