I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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