I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
