Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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