I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
