She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
