I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
