Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
