I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
fuck your aforementioned shoe
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
