CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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