Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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