I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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