why didn't you poke me back
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
