before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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