I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
