You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
