and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My dick has a subreddit
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
