Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize