I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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