I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
