I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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