It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
