i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
