As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
