another moral hangover. fuck.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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