I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
