Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
