I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
