I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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