she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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