I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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