dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
