I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
should my penis look like a turkey
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
