Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
