I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
