I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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