The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
