I am puke
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
