Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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