Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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