ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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