Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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