...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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