I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
