dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
