"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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