omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
