its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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