I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize