why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I need water and some morals
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
