We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
