I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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