I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
