Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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