i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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