these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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