i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
