party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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