would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
